Accept Yourself
College is finally here. It seems like only a few years ago, you were sitting in my lap as I taught you the alphabet and how to read. There are so many more things I wish I had taught you, but here is the ABC list of the ones I hope I didn’t miss. Maybe this Iist is more for me than you because even if you never read this you are going to be okay.
Accept Yourself- Accept who you are and the way you were created. You have strengths, interests, gifts, desires, experiences, and abilities that create a unique you. These form the glasses for how you see the world and what you should focus on. Other people have different lenses than yours. That doesn't make them wrong, better or worse.
Believe- Believe there is good in the world. Kashmir, Hong Kong, climate change, mass shootings, immigration, politics, drops in the stock market -- it feels like the end of the world is near. But there has always been war, greed, sin, natural disasters, and people doing awful things to each other. Keep your eyes on the inspiration from your friends, teachers, and those who help others. One light shines bright so stay lit and make your corner of the world a better place.
Curiosity- Follow your curiosity. Go down the rabbit holes. Ask how and why. Try the things that interest you. The answer may be no, but at least you know.
Discipline- There will be things in life you don't want to do. Homework, laundry, cleaning dishes, going to class on a cold or rainy day. No one likes these but do them anyway. Procrastination makes it worse.
Exercise- Exercise and the endorphins it generates are miracle drugs. Exercise makes a bad day bearable and a good day better. It clears the head and shakes loose ideas and solutions hidden in the subconscious. It makes you feel better about yourself and women like men who take care of themselves.
Forgive- Forgive others, but more importantly, forgive yourself. Put down the hammer that beats you up about mistakes and bad decisions. Silence the critic in your head. Think of the advice and compassion you would give to a friend if he told you he had done the same thing, then give that grace and understanding to yourself.
Gratitude- Want to change your mood, start with gratitude. When your mind gets stuck on what went wrong, make a list of the things that went right. Glass half full, not half empty. Many cliches, but they are true.
Hope- Hold on to hope. Sometimes hope that tomorrow will be better than today is all that you have, but it will be enough. Time will heal and push you through.
Honesty- It is often better to be painfully honest than to bury an issue to keep the peace or avoid confrontation. The deeper it is buried, the greater the damage when it is revealed.
Ice cream- If you need to talk or a hug, text ice cream and I will be there with spoons and bowls.
Jake- Keep in touch with your brother. He looks up to you and wants to be more like you. He is also the only one who understands who you are and where you came from.
John- Your dad provides good examples of being an entrepreneur, husband, father and how to use the analytical brain he gave you. He loves you more than you will ever know. Keep learning from him.
Kindness- Every person goes through hard times. Sometimes they react from pain. Listen to their story and see them for who they are.
Love- Unconditional love. We will always love you no matter the mistakes you make or the things you do. We make mistakes, too.
Mississippi State- You can still cheer for the Bulldogs when they aren't playing Alabama.
Now- Focus on this moment because this is all that you have. Replaying the past or projecting the future feeds the anxiety and keeps the wheel in your brain spinning out of control. Do your best with the time you have right now and tomorrow will take care of itself.
No- Know when to say no and mean it. Also know how to accept no, especially when it comes from a girl.
Outside- Put away the electronics and go outside. Go for walks. Sit by the river. Watch the sun set or the leaves fall. Feel the wind before the storm comes. Find a dark place to watch the stars.
Pray- Peace and comfort come from talking through your pain, confusion, or praises and gratitude with the Creator who cares.
(Don’t) Quit- Quitting is often the easy way out, but you can do so much more than you realize. As grandaddy says, “root hog through.”
Read- Read for fun. Read to walk in someone else’s shoes. Read poetry. Read song lyrics. Read body language. Read. Read. Read. Then write.
Stress and anxiety- These are part of life and we all have them. Recognize the signs then reduce and redirect them before they snowball out of control.
Therapy- It is impossible to give you all of the tools you will need to survive every storm of life or rebuild your life after it falls apart. You are a human and collapses and crashes will happen. A good therapist can you help you clear a path through it.
Unto- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Treat people as you want to be treated.
Vegetables- You have to find a way to like them. Metabolism won’t be on your side forever and your body needs vegetables to stay healthy.
Wait- The things you care about never happen as fast or as easily as you want them to. Wait for the right time and embrace the lessons along the way.
Water- Drink more water than soda or iced coffee.
X Marks the Spot- X marks the spot where you are now, but that spot will shift as you change. You will change your mind, change your major, change your job, change your location, change your roles to husband and father. Who you are today is not who you will be 30 years from now.
Yazoo City- A part of you will always be rooted in Yazoo City and the Mississippi Delta.
Zany- Not every action needs to be carefully thought out. Do something silly, spontaneous, and foolish now and then.
I love you kiddo. I am always here when you need me and when you don’t.
